i feel like shit right now. and here's why:

so i was crossing the street out of a development into another lane (try to picture it). i guess my turn was a little too wide---either way the guy next to me was DEFINATELY speeding and our cars brushed each other. BRUSHED! i started waving and apologizing but he started cursing and pulled over so i did too. i apologized and said it was an accident but he started cursing and yelling at me! SO serious--some fat middle aged white guy trying to act gangsta because he has a black girlfriend (who was standing aside all this and watching on of her sisters get swalked at---stupid bitch) and said he was going to call the cops on me.

listen. that scratch was SO minor you coulda LICKED it off! i couldn't believe my EARS! but desperate times called for desperate measure so i started begging him not to call. then this asshole launches into this story about some dude who crashed into him 2 hrs ago (mind you--i didn't crash into him in the first flippin' place)and how he let him go--blah blah blah. i explained to him that it was my first time out by myself.

and that's the kicker--it was the first time i had went out by myself in my graduation present--a mildly used Dodge Stratus. but of course he called the cops. i went back to my car and called my dad--luckily he job was just 5 minutes away from where i was so i didn't have to wait long and he arrived maybe a minute after i gave the cop my liscnece and registration. i went up to the guy and tried to really apologize for the inconvience but he turned his back on me! i was like, are you fuckining SERIOUS?! how rude! so i apologized to his lone ass black girlfriend for the accident--she said i drifted into their lane or whatever--but explain to me why her BF didn't slow down, i don't fuckin' know.

anyway, so i started to cry--because this stuff costs money! the cops were REALLY nice to me and totally rolled their eyes at the scratch. luckily i walked away without a ticket but there is still the insurance company to deal with.

it was my first time out--by myself---i was living the life! i could hardly drive myself home after that and i was crying because i just couldn't believe that out of ALL the things that could possibly happen in this case--i BRUSH by an asshole and get nailed like a villian. it sucks ass--it costs money--and i have a job interview on friday and i don't even think i'll be allowed to go out on my own. T_T

so now i'm unhappy.

i graduated high school yesterday! it feels SO...weird! yeah, my school was amoung the lastest to do so. our principal thought it was going to rain on our parade--so although the weather ended up clearing up and not a drop of rain fell--graduation was still cut short and i was deprived of my moment to leave a mark on the school with my speech! yeah, they cut my speech out of the program along with a few others. T_T gee, thanks alot, ne?

but our senior prank was muy grande! people hid bubbles and small beach balls under their gowns and started blowing bubbles and throwing ball around during the super intendants speech! XD it was hilarious! the crowd was SO into us that when a teacher came and took one of the balls away the crowd booed her O_O hahahahahaha--oh, it was great. we blew bubbles at each other, ect, ect, ect. what were they gonna do? say we can't graduate? the teachers tried to keep a stern face but---failed miserably!

so yeah, we threw our hats up and boareded buses for our last night together! our class went to the funplex and on a cruise from after grad. to 4 in the am! man, it was so wild! and because we were technically no longer under the responsibility of the school, although we had chaperones, ppl smoked and blantantly (but hid the alcohol since we're still underaged). i didn't drink or smoke but i DID party like a rock star! (t-t-t-totally dude!)

i didn't cry tho---no one really did, it still felt like we were going to see each other the next day! ppl said their good-byes and well wishes and claimed to miss each other (cause, let's be serious--there is a difference between ppl you're going to miss and ppl you're going to remember, ne?)and gave big hugs and went about our separate ways.

my class was lazy as hell so many are going to community colleges. I SURE AS HELL am getting the hell up out my house (thank GOD!) and i'm being accompanied by three classmates (one of whom will end up being my roomate--she won a microwave for a doorprize on our cruise! LMAO--i got the mini-fridge so we are all set to go, ne?) the other two are guys and total sweethearts so i know we'll end up meeting at college parties and stuff.

it was good while it lasted--still haven't cried tho--i don't think i ever will. i think wherever my classmates go they'll do well and party hard just like they've always had--so i'm not feeling the change i'm just seeing the separation.

i'll try my hardest to keep in touch, of course--i mean hello facebook, myspace (ew!), and LJ, ne? and there are clubs, house parties, and special events (especially in the city that i'm going to) so i'll never be far from a familiar face.

it's amazing how the ppl who were your BFF in middle school---how now you hate their guts--and the ppl you never knew before are now your BFF--and with growing up with so many diff. ppl, how many you really didn't get to know. that's kinda sad, i think. i coulda made so much more friends than i did--but it's not my fault, lol--it's hard to get to know ppl you only see passing in the hallways, ne?

SO CONGRATS TO THE CLASS OF LUCKY '07! i KNOW we'll go down in history!

so it's been a while since i posted. about the graduation and all that jazz... nothing special to say now...it's hard to just pour out all my thoughts with little regard right now because so much is going through my head as i prepare to graduate and head off to college.

so yeah...

roar! it's so painfully LOUD that i'm DYING! my house is on fire! so many ppl screaming at once that the basement is my onyl refuge. how sad is THAT?! and even THAT isn't enough because i have relatives from nigeria LIVING down here! WTF, i'm DYING! i can't even get to my homework without beign called to clean some kids ass, or wash some dishes. that means late night homework and less time to work on IKK, so you KNOW i'm unhappy!

on a lighter not my best friend is here so now i get to have many hours of ranting, raving, college essay work, and all around girl talk! ^_^

ahahahahaha! i got into a confrontation today with a girl who's supposed to be my friend. honestly, i love that girl to death but she talks too much shit. she had beef with one of my other friends last year and even though the situation is done and over with every chance she gets, she has something mean to say.

and it's not even just that! she has something rude and smart to say to and about EVERYONE. after awhile one just can't take it no more. so i just had to say something when she made a snide remark about someone and it wasn't even necissary! i said, "yo, on some serious type stuff, stop talkin' shit, okay. just stop."

then like very classic ghetto wannabe black girl she got loud with me and i got loud back. i mean, it wasn't even that serious. i wasn't mad because i didn't take it to heart. the teachers were right there and they didn't say anything. the shameful thing about all this is that ppl were giving me MAD props for confronting her. i mean, geez, ppl spread business like butter! and apparantly my friend has quite a few enemies or ppl just tired of her talkin' shit. anyway, her locker is right next to mine but i didn't see her all day after our little argument. Then a little time after i heard she wanted to "punch me in my face." what? hunh, how middle school is that? i was one of the first ppl to befriend her and let her cry on my shoulder (literally) when her boyfriend broke up with her because she wouldn't have sex with him.

geez! friendships....i just thought, "well you see me everyday. my locker is right next to yours if you have something to say, then say it!" i wasn't mad before, but now i am because how PETTY can you BE?! i mean, seriously! i actually felt bad because i suspected that maybe she thought i was trying to come at her neck, but now she wants to fight me?! over THAT?! well okay, we'll see about that tomorrow now, won't we?

i'm not a fighter unless i have to be and besides, this is senior year! a if i'm gonna lose my privelages over some middle school bullshit....

AYA! long time OMG, was this last year?! i completely forgot about this thing! ah well, time to put this site to use. too bad i have to start off with bad news...

hmmm...

i was trying out for an internship at a major publishing company via my friend whoes uncle works there. i sent in all my information to her uncle when i was sorrowfully told that i couldn't get the internship. why? because the boss is racist and doesn't like black people! my friends uncle (who is white) looked very uncomfortable telling me this. he's married to a black woman, so there's no problem with him. and while i noticed most of the employees were white i didn't really care.

i mean, i know racism is still alive but how weird is it to be the victim of it? it's so sad to hear other ppl talk about it but when it happens to you? it's the worse feeling in the world knowing you're denied a job because of the color of your SKIN! something that can't even be helped....

i was disappointed at first and just brushed it off and thought "ha! he doesn't know what he's missing!" i'm not being cocky saying that i'm organized, articulate, smart, a people person, and creative enough to take the internship. i QUALIFY! but to be UNqualified for something so TRIVIAL. it just....opens my mind to how fs8&d&%#*Ying stupid some ppl are. it makes me sad and mad and just want to laugh my ass off all at the same time. i can't clearly express how i feel but since i'm not jumping with joy i guess you can say i'm unhappy...

anybody care to sympathize and chat about own experiences? prejudices like that are hurtful and sometimes it helps to talk about it. i'll be applying for a new internship elsewhere...

well, glad to be up and running! my friends have been pushingme to make a LJ account and here it is! some knowledge in advance, i'm a huge keiko kitagawa fan (if you don't know who she is....SHAME ON YOU! :P) and i'm working on a fansite for her at www.galacticparadise.com/itsumo_keikok. whew. running into trouble with it by elly and molly have been generous!